talk like a pirate day

So, I just found out that Sept. 19th is International "Talk like a Pirate" day. Well, that's pretty darn cool. However, most people just aren't cool enough to be able to talk like a pirate...as much as you don't want to believe it, it is true. SO...being the cool guy that I am, I am here to give you a little help on talking like a pirate, so when Sept 19th rolls around, you won't look like an idiot trying to talk like a pirate but sounding like crocodile dundee (if you even know who that is...).

Let's begin.


1 - This site gives you some basics on talking like a pirate along with some pickup lines and even so pirate speak in other languages...

2 - This site (my fav) not only provides an "English to Pirate" Translator, but if you have OSX, you can download the widget and always have it with you...like me. ;) heh heh

Now...translated...

So, I jus' found out that Sept. 19th be International "Talk like a Pirate" day. Well, that's pretty darn cool. However, most scallywags jus' aren't cool enough t' be able t' natter like a pirate...as much as ye don't wants t' believe it, 'tis true. SO...bein' th' cool scallywag that I be, I be here t' give ye a little help on natterin' like a pirate, so when Sept 19th furls around, ye won't look like an idiot tryin' t' natter like a pirate but soundin' like crocodile dundee (if ye even know who that be...).

Let's begin.


1 - This site gives ye some basics on natterin' like a pirate along wit' some pickup lines 'n even so pirate speak in other languages...

2 - This site (me fav) nah only provides an "English t' Pirate" Translator, but if ye 'ave OSX, ye can loot th' widget 'n always 'ave it wit' ye...like me. ;) heh heh

OK - so I hope ye enjoy...ye've got a month t' practice...so get t' it.


See how fun?

you get to see it first...

new promo teaser for a regional sized airport...

my ears are abot to fall off...

so ryan seacrest played britney spear's new single today. Well, I listened and almost died. It sucks.

i had no idea...

So I just saw where Apple is selling refurbished iPhones. So that makes me think about a couple of things...

A - Out of the phones they sold, were there really that many that were bad that needed to be fixed? I wonder if the smudges are off the screens...

B - If you could wait a month you save $100 off an iPhone. If you wait another month will it be $200 off?

C - Will Apple come out with an upgrade or new version later this year or early next year?

Oh well, I don't have one and until they get on Verizon's network I won't get one. I'm so stubborn...Year's ago I swore off BellSouth, which became Cingular, which became AT&T. They made me so mad on a billing issue I dropped them cold Turkey. Of course I swore off SprintPCS as well (I used them for 6 months, no coverage), which means I won't ever use Nextel. Everyone knows they suck anyway. What else have I swore off? hmmmm. I swore off Honda. My Passport was a piece of junk and I got rid of it swearing off Honda's to never buy one again. And I won't. I swore off Microsoft Windows after using a Mac. Once you go Mac, you never go back. I do feel very sorry for those of you out there who still have to use a Microsoft OS. Bummer. Go to an Apple store, play around, you'll see what I mean... I swore off Schwinn. Their bikes suck. Wow...that was back in the 8th grade too. Oh well, not missed them. Gosh I could go on and on...but I won't bore you.

Now that I think of it...I did have a Honda after I swore them off...however it was given to me, but it was a fine car, a Prelude. I do have a Windows PC at home still, even though that's on my list. But I didn't buy it. I guess I would use an iPhone if somebody paid for the service for me...

any takers? I'll call you on it... heh

thank you!

Thanks to all of you who have wished me a happy birthday! Much appreciated. If you hadn't noticed, check out 2nd's blog for pics etc of the race this past sat. Got another one we're doing this sat which should be super fun... wish us luck!

should've used FedEx...

...
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601070&sid=ardg6DwCCMFI&refer=home

Home Depot Sucks...

yes, you read right. The Home Depot sucks. So, i kinda knew nobody really shopped there and i had heard rumors that their customer service was awful, but i didn't believe it. Until today. I had to get some extra keys made for our rental house so the girls could get in since I changed the locks. Well, I went to home depot thinking it would be quicker than Lowe's since the parking lot is always empty. I found out why it's always empty. In order to have 6 keys made, I waited at the key making kiosk for 10 minutes, then went to customer service who said they'd page someone. Waited another 10 minutes, never heard the page. Went back to the desk. They forgot to page. They then paged, waited 5 minutes after that...still no one. So i went across the street to Lowe's, went inside and up to their key making kiosk. waited 2 minutes (1 person was in front of me), got my six keys made and was out the door in a total of 6 minutes.

I will never go to The Home Depot again.

Lowe's Rules.

Yes, you can quote me on that.

absoulely amazing

this video is awesome. i don't care who you are or what you think. this video is amazing, and the words couldn't ring truer.

random stuff

i know i just posted the video below...and thanks sara, not kyle. heh. Anyway I was going through some pics on my phone and thought i should post them...

I had no idea this is what dallas theological seminary looked like.












heh - that's a joke, btw.

also, i decided to treat some people in the building to lunch today.

I took lee, kevin and jennifer to lunch at...the bank. ;) it was cust appreciation day with free hot dogs etc. too funny.

the vp called me and said, "it's free food day, bring some people and get them to get accounts with us. hahahaahah." so i did. ;) heh heh good times.

lots of people there, like a picnic. jennifer btw is lee's secret desire. oops i guess it's not so secret anymore. sorry lee. ;p hahahahahah plus i love the pic of kevin taking picture of me while i'm taking a picture of him taking a picture of me taking a picture of him...well you get the idea....

mac or pc?

thanks to kyle for sending me this...great.

almost famous...

hahahaha - now this is funny. check it out. Look toward the middle right and watch the vids. I had no idea I made so many odd facial expressions when I talked... hahahahahah

Communist China Taking Over the U.S.

Yes. I've had this theory for sometime now and have today decided to post it up on my blog for some of you to read. First, let me say that I love all people, regardless of color, race, religion etc. I am not picking just to be picking. In fact I have friends who are from China. So, with all that PC crap out of the way, I will indulge.

Not to even bother talking about the Crusades, etc. (which will never be over either), I want to pick up with the cold war. The Cold War is not over. It never will be. How Socialism and Communism are encroaching on our everyday life in the Sates, has been an interesting process to watch. I am in the process of putting all of this together in a book for you to enjoy...but until it is ready, I will take a break and talk about the secret Communist invasion that will develop through China. Or, our trading with China I should say. More specifically, Chinese food. Yes, Chinese food. I want to make a statement here and let you discuss, leave comments, etc.

1. The Communists and Socialists (like the militant Muslims are/will do) slip into the US, low-key, under radar and wait. For Years. The socialists and communists are just now becoming more wielding in power through the media, politics and other avenues. Even in business (yes I'm referring to that damned IKEA store -see previous post about ikea).

2. They remain unassuming, even apologetic for things. After several years of plotting and indoctrinating (even unassuming people who do not know better) they come out, slowly, with sugar coated plans (and food) and even those unassuming people (who would otherwise be against communism and socialism) are on the bandwagon.

3. People think nothing of conducting business with these people, the communists and socialists. Heck, some people will even work for them not knowing any better because they seem like such nice people. It doesn't just include buying goods, but also foods. People begin to frequent the restaurants that are run by communists and socialists.

4. In the stores, goods (which are normally crap - IKEA for example)are bought with lots of money by honest Americans and it is wasted due to the extremely high markups on foreign goods. Or should dare I say, goes to help fund communist and socialist agends without the honest Americans knowledge.

5. But, in the restaurants, yes, the restaurants, is where the greatest dilemma lies. Let's say a certain communist country provides all kinds of food to certain eating establishments in the US. And the food that is sent to these establishments is laced with something bad. Whatever you can think of. And that food is then prepared and served to millions of unassuming Americans over a given week. Then that country decides to pick up arms and invade (during that sick week of course). What would happen then? Would it be too late? Would we be able to recover as a nation? Hmmmm?

So all this came about because I once joked about ow China would take over the US through Chinese restaurants making everyone sick, then just walking around taking everything over. Just a little humor for you.

Or is it?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,292470,00.html

wtf? how much more crap can be on TV?

so, I'm in dallas with some friends (pruitt's) and Steve and I are kinda excited about this new ABC show - Masters of Science Fiction. So, if you've heard of it, it's supposed to be the new Twilight Zone, or better actually, and is showcased with stars and a cool storyline etc. Well it sucks. And I don't mean, "yeah, I don't like it. It sucks." I mean "WTF? Who in the hell hired these people to write this show and why did ANYONE put it on the air?" That kind of sucks. The only action so far, within the first 40 minutes has been flashing lights. This doctor major whatever, has threatened to kill the LA LAW guy (i guess he's the president) two or three times, but doesn't do anything about it. And oh yeah, the whole earth is decimated. STUPID. The best thing I've seen so far on this show is the commercial for the new Pepsi energy ginseng drink. What a clever commercial to insert into the lineup. All the people in it were yawning, as was I, but not because of the commercial mind you, because of the show. This stupid, shouldn't be on TV, show.

I'm actually starting to miss "America's Funniest Home Videos". Well, at least there's like a gajillion channels to choose from so I don't have to watch this crap again.

ok - I gues that's enough for now, just had to get it out.

insane...

if you didn't see this last night... holy cow!

old but funny

well since facebook is doing some upgrades, i figured a blog for a sec. heh heh so, i don't have much to say today except that this is one of the funniest videos i've seen. It's basically the highlight from the democrat/youtube debate...

George Patton speaks from his grave.

If you haven't seen this you need to.

officially addicted...

ummm, yeah...watch both.

at the beach

so, we're back & we had a great time...if you're not of facebook you probably haven't seen this vid of me enjoying what little water there is down here, so I figured, I'd put it on here for you to see... ;)



enjoy

how cool is this?

just sent to me by a friend in NYC. very cool!

about time to vote...

so, i put this voting poll up here on my blog to keep track of who's ahead of who etc. Please feel free to vote on here. I'm curious as to how the blogosphere is thinking. And I'm not going to state how I voted so I don't sway any votes...hahahaha

hmmm.....the title says it all.

So I see this today and just have to share it. Since I work in a village (and yes some refer to me as the village idiot...) and am familiar with gnomes I found this story humorous. It will only be a matter of time before our village is full of these gnomes and they become assault weapons everywhere...I would start a petition to ban them, but I think they need to get a bad name so the village I work in can be renamed and the gnomes can move on...because now the village name is stupid (and really always will be).

Police: Florida Man Assaults Brother With Garden Gnome

Thursday, July 05, 2007

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. — A 26-year-old Florida man was arrested after allegedly hitting his brother with a garden gnome and a ladder during a fight, police said.

Johnathon Gesell, of Port St. Lucie, and his brother, James, began arguing Tuesday before Johnathon hit James in the back with the garden gnome, police reports said.

Johnathon Gesell then allegedly punched his brother's girlfriend in the face and smashed part of the rear tail light and quarter panel on his brother's truck with a baseball bat. He also allegedly hit his brother in the side with a ladder, according to the report.

Click here for FOXNews.com's Crime center.

Johnathon Gesell faces charges including aggravated assault, criminal mischief and two counts of aggravated battery.

omg

you have to check this video out...

http://www.virb.com/sean/videos/578


this is why i generally don't hunt lions...

no false advertising here...

ok, so i saw this in the grocery store. i guess pillsbury is still using the old size cans while trying to sell 33% more of their dough...

I think they would succeed more in that effort if they just made longer cans - hahahaha

back to something i love...

ok, well for the past 2 days I've taken a brief but needed break from work/life for an hour or so and hit the skatepark. Pretty fun. Not too bad for a 33 year old who hasn't ridden a park or anything really in quite a while. Cool thing is that a friend of mine (who i've known, but don't really know) went skating with me yesterday and he used to ride back in the day too. We've decided to at least try to go once a week if not more to the different parks around here to stay in shape and keep doing what we do. Skate. Anyway, here's some pics. And yes...i landed all of these, even the one-footer (which the pic doesn't do justice...). 1st pic-frontside over box hip. 2nd pic - nosegriding the bowl. 3rd pic-ollie over hip. 4th pic-coming down from frontside one-footer.

facebook gifts

so, i'm thinking about facebook gifts. you pay $1 to send a gift to someone (i think some may be free) of a picture that is displayed on your home page to let other people know you're thinking of them or whatever. And, it's only $1. Sure you can spare a buck. There are lots of icons that can be gifts, but I went looking to see how many have "sold out". And when they are sold out, it is usually after they hit a million gifts sent. so far, facebook has 31 "sold out" gifts. So if my math and reasoning are right (which they're probably not, but it's interesting nonetheless...) facebook has acquired approximately $31M through this "gift" thing. Ok so let's just take out some for credit card processing fees, etc. and say they've acquired $30M. For nothing. Just something i've been thinking about. that's all. that's a lot of money. $1ea. for nothing. hmmmm....interesting.

my strengths...

Below are my top five themes of talent, ranked in the order revealed by my responses to the Clifton StrengthsFinder.

As you may know, the Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the 34 themes of talent determined by The Gallup Organization as those that most consistently predict outstanding performance. The greater the presence of a theme of talent within a person, the more likely that person is to spontaneously exhibit those talents in day-to-day behaviors.

Focusing on natural talents helps people build them into strengths and enjoy personal, academic, and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

How well do you think these themes describe me?


Positivity

You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.



Empathy

You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.



Adaptability

You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.



Woo

Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up a conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don’t. Not only are you rarely at a loss for words; you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once that connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. In your world there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet—lots of them.



Developer

You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

cool info...strengthsfinder.com

inspiration to do more...

a little story actually...

Mark Twain once described a man who died and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. Knowing that St. Peter was very wise, the man asked a question that he had wondered about his entire life.
He said, "Saint Peter, I have been interested in military history for many years. Who was the greatest general of all time?"
Saint Peter quickly responded, "oh that's a simple question. It's that man right over there."
"You must be mistaken," responded the man, now very perplexed. "I knew that man on earth, and he was just a common laborer."
"That's right, my friend," assured Saint Peter. "He would have been the greatest general of all time, if he had been a general."

this little piggy went wii wii wii all the way home

ok so most...well, maybe some of you know we've had the nintendo wii since before Christmas last year and have been playing the dickens out of it ever since and have more games for it than you one should have. and we, not wii, love it. But what is super new news, is that now (will know more after a meeting in the morning) we (work) may be involved in developing a new game for it. Super cool. I am so excited. I can't give much details right now, but it has more potential than the cell phone app we're developing. anyway, i'm pretty pumped about it and will know more after tomorrow. Wohoo! i'm sure i can get you copies...hahaha

facebook whore

yep...i put the word whore in the title. so what. anyway, that's what i've become over the past few days, a facebook whore (which, fyi, is better than a trend whore on a couple of different levels ~ i digress). guys here have started writing apps for facebook and i figured i ought to know more about it...hahaha. and i do now. and i actually like it. so, if you're on it, let me know and i'll be your friend. aaaawwwwwwww shucks. ;)

In anticipation of the new Transformers movie...

I do hope you know this one...

i'm impressed...

Paul Pott's on Britain's Got Talent...

seriously...

i mean, i can't even make this stuff up...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281217,00.html

worth it...

ok - it's been a while, but i saw this and thought it was funny & worth posting... heh heh

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,279352,00.html

Oh yeah...and these guys are in their 60's...

Couldn't pass up...

So, in an effort to start blogging again, I saw this the other day and just couldn't pass it up. I said to myself, "self, that is one funny image! This needs to be shared with the world." hahahaha so, enjoy... yellow scion, "short bus", disabled sticker...great sense of humor....

interesting...

so for whatever reasons i keep getting lots of hits here every week and i'm not even updating. crazy. so, to give you something different to look at, i decided to post a new thought. Actually not even a thought, just some new words. And a new pic. Yep, I'll put a new pic up here & let you know some of what's been going on. Well, I've lost about 10 pounds since my last post & that's a total of about 40 pounds since last year & I feel great. I am running between 4 & 8 miles almost every day, doing weights, etc. totally have had to buy a new wardrobe so clothes will fit. Business is still going really well. personal life is getting better. i'm getting better with my new camera (a Nikon dSLR), you've prob seen pics on lisa's blog. I'm realizing that I am such a people pleaser it's not necessarily healthy, so i'm going to start telling a lot more people no. i'm also learning i am a bit of a work-aholic. also, i'm learning that i constantly need to be challenged and am driven to always learn new things. Otherwise I get bored, and just do something "odd" to get that challenge. I'm starting to come to terms with who i am and i am feeling good about it. oddly enough, i've always felt that i have to be everything to everyone and now i don't feel that so much. in the past month or so i've made people mad, sad, etc. at work, something i've always hated doing (and still do), but have come to terms with that being life and sometimes there's nothing i can do about it. And that's not talking about my personal life - which it's happened there too - i'm realizing there's two different aspects of life. i know i'm rambling but i figure if there's still so many of you coming to the blog, i may as well share. so there you go.

last post for a while...

well, right now my life sucks (to put it mildly). I am a total screwup (which I kinda knew...now several people know), although I think I'm becoming more OK with that. At least work is going really well. Personally though, I have issues I need to sort out, so until i get those sorted out, I'll be taking a brief hiatus on the B-L-O-G. I'm sure you're saddened. heh.

my jeep rules...

OK - a little heartache, $1400 and a quick drive back to the office and my wrangler officially rules once again. I so know what a bad transmission is now. ;) I should have had that fixed a while back. hahahahaha - Now that I'm driving it with a good one, I probably should have gotten it about a year ago. ;) heh.

enjoi...I know I do.

My mastercard life...

So the past few days have been pretty interesting to say the least. A lot going on, too much to put here. Anyway, I thought I'd fill you in on some of it in the form of a Mastercard commercial. Here goes...

• Transmission going out on a Jeep Wrangler....$1300
• Driving a brand new 4runner in the snow, sliding around (b/c it's nowhere near as good as the Wrangler...btw, when's my Land Rover going to get here?), tearing the side mirror off of a volvo and scratching the 4runner bumper....$350
• Going to a low-rent circus (with a very talented contortionist, I might add) seeing an elephant pee on everything and getting a picture of it at the end....$priceless.

why i buy quicksilver stuff...

nuff said (sorry for the language...)

Starbucks The Way I See It #185

OK, so i got a coffee (my MMM) today and got this on the cup and thought it was an interesting statement:

"A valuable lesson I've learned from making music is to never let anyone intimidate me. Every student, celebrity, CEO and math teacher in the world has experienced love, loneliness, fear and embarrassment at some point. To understand this is to level an often very lopsided playing field." ~ Anna Nalick

So,

1. I am going to find her music and she what type of music she plays/writes.
2. I need to think of a way to incorporate this thought into the way I sell. ;)
3. If I sell to you and you are reading this...well, just go with it. hahahahaha

Bob Barker, Sara Manny and TiVo

heh. So, I know this girl named Sara (not super well, but good enough to put her on the b-l-o-g)... ;) Honestly, I don't even know if her last name is spelled right...hahahaha. Anyway, she was on the Price is Right yesterday and I Tivo'd it b/c I figured some of you would want to see it. So, I clipped it all down with just her parts...even if you don't know her, she is really pretty funny and it's fun to watch. Oh yeah...she's the one in the light blue shirt. ;)

Enjoi!

Vista SUCKS

OMG...After being a microsoft guy for a long time, being on the campus, knowing some of the people there, etc., I wondered how Vista would really be when it's time came. Well, since I've been using an Apple for the past few months I had really forgotten about Vista and what is was supposed to do, etc. Let start by saying this. I will never buy another PC again. I will never waste money on a microsoft based computer ever again. I'm so glad I found out about Vista before I wasted any of my money.

A friend of mine's computer crashed and she asked me to help her fix it. I said, OK, no problem. So I went to look at it, long story short, bad motherboard (emachines, go figure...hahah). Basically it was cheaper to get a new PC instead of fixing the old one. So she did. Well, the new one has Vista on it. heh. What a piece of crap. The "new" machine is slower than the old one and after using an Apple with OSX for the past few months, Vista really does seem so cumbersome and awkward. It's really funny. I can't believe people will be buying and using this stuff. If only everyone tried the Mac OS for one week, they would get so used to it and how intuitive it is and never buy a PC again.

At least I'm still super glad I made the switch. Oh yeah, and our PC (an XP machine) is about to croak. It's a few years old. And yes, I'm replacing it with an iMac. It will go well with my MacBook. ;)

famosity, jose and MIT

yes i totally made up that word. ;) But, in the vain of famousness (heh...yes another made up word), my bud jose is officially famous now. He is quoted in this CNET article about MIT's recent conference where he was on a panel about new web stuff. That's the technical term for it. hahahaha. (not to mention the fame and fortune possibilities of being in Urban Latino Magazine - had to plug it bro) Anyway...I'm proud of ya Jose. Great Job!!!

this is why i eat steak...

so, i can grow old and still be a rockstar...

Astronauts, Ass & Not!

sorry about the title and this really isn't super funny...well, not hahaha funny but ironic funny. ;)
Anyway...this story is priceless - http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,250415,00.html

who knew diapers were so useful?

this is sooooo funny...

OK - so Lisa was just watching the video below and started singing it a little bit and our son just walks in singing right along with her and explains the name of the song. Apparently this is a huge kids game. ;) Luke comes in and draws 2 circles on my hand and puts 2 dots in the middle and tells me I have my cootie shot, then makes a smiley face out of it and says, "OK, now you can't get cooties." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Who knew?
Too funny!

i'm baaaacckkkk....

ok -now that I'm back from being deathly ill, i felt the need to post. Since, I'm a huge B-RAD G fan (hahahahaha) I thought I'd share this vid with ya...enjoi.

uuugghhhh

It's snowing, i have 8 parking tickets on my desk and I am sick. In the morning is a photoshoot we're in for a new state advertising campaign (our other modeling was an apparent hit) and it's going to be outside in the cold...oh joy. Models really do have it rough. heh.

What the Hey?!?!?!

I've used this phrase a couple of times recently in lieu of other choice words and am getting annoyed with it. I don't even understand what it means. So, I decided to look up the phrase and see what it's origins and meanings were and how it came to be...

“What the Hey” - Originally “What the Hay” - (read all the way through...very interesting)

Traced back to the Celtic farmers before Christ was born, “what the hey” was originally know as “what the Hay”. Hay was an important crop to the Celtic farmers and was regarded as one of their most precious resources. It served many uses from feeding their livestock to even being used as ingredients in their prepared food for themselves, to being used as thatch mixture for their dwellings. Celtic farmers would even go so far as to booby-trap their land and dwellings to protect this precious commodity. Disputes over hay were even said to be one of the causes of the first invasions of Rome, by the Celts around 400BC.

Celtic farmers and warriors would often barter and trade using hay instead of other materials, like weaponry, rocks or jewels. This became common practice in their way of life and depending on how rainy of a season they had, the hay would be various lengths due to growth. The longer the hay shoots, the more valuable the pieces were. The Celtic men would often ask each other about the length of their hay shoots to determine how much would be traded on any given day.

After the initial invasion of Rome, the Celtic and Roman cultures began to intermingle as well as their languages. Due to certain barriers of speech, the initial questioning of the length of someone's hay became shorter so that the Roman population could be involved in conversation. The Romans used many Celtic farmers and former warriors as hired help in their lands and were very accommodating to the Celtic lifestyle. In order to placate much of what was being spoken, the Roman's learned to ask about the length of hay. They would ask, “VVHAUT LEINGT HEI”, which came across to the Celts as simply “what's the hay”.

After several centuries, hay became less of a commodity and whey became the prevalent grain type. Farmers from several cultures would still ask “what the hey” only now, they referred to whey. This became such common practice in the mid 16th & 17th centuries, that people would simply stop and say “hey” to the barley merchants as they passed by to know how much their whey stock was worth.

Eventually the word “hey” became to be used as a personable greeting in simply passing one another by on the street and is still used today.

Wow...crazy, huh? Yes, I made every bit of that up. ;) hahahahaha Not bad for a 15 minute break, eh?

timoteo...the evil genius.

OK, so my timoteo is coming out. I got that nickname in Peru (actually it's not a nickname, but my real name...hahahaha - well my real name to the spanish speaking folks). There used to be a TV show down there that had a guy named timoteo in it that was a bad guy. There was also a cartoon that had a timoteo in it that was a goofy big thing (can't remember...some kind of animal maybe?). Anyway, I know I got the nickname from the cartoon, but I'm going to pretend for purposes of this blog, it was the cool, bad guy on the other show. ;)

Parking tickets. Yes, back on that subject. I got another one yesterday. Yep, sure enough. I still haven't met my quota yet, but it is only the 19th. I kept thinking to myself how to make it the absolute hardest on the city to get payment for these tickets. Marcus Arelius and I were chatting this morning about it and the plan has been decided. I will go on the due date, plead all tickets not guilty (extra paperwork) and then proceed to pay them in coinage. All change. Pennies in fact. $40-$50 worth. And, here's the kicker...I'm going to mix in Canadian coins...MUHOOWAHAHAHAHAAHAH. What's so funny is that we all know canadian money isn't worth as much as American money, so I'll actually be getting a discount on the tickets, thereby saving me more money for my super duper plan of world domination!

ahem.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away. Scratch that last sentence. Ummmm, there are no plans for world domination.

Anyway, I feel it is a good plan. Will let you know in Feb how it turns out. ;)

rollin', rollin', rollin'...

YeeHAW! I've been trying to think of some things to do to my Jeep to make it a little cooler, and recently (this morning) added some coolness to the vehicle. I needed to get new tires, so I went shopping for some areound to all the tire places. The quotes were between $500-$600 for plain tires for my jeep. Not off roadies or anything like that. One day I was at the Wal-Mart and said to myself, "self, what they hay...see how much tires are here." So I did. Well, to my delight, Goodyear Wranglers were only going to be $250 installed. WOW! So, an obvious no-brainer since they were twice that everywhere else! Since, I was planning on spending about $500 anyway, I decided to go ahead and see how much new wheels would cost. About $300. Yep. So I bought new wheels too (black instead of the old silver ones)! And now my jeep is starting to look even cooler than it already did. ;) Here's my pic...enjoy! Let me know what you think.

PS - Yes, I know I need to get the blue off...

banged up, bruised, but not buried...yet

ouch. I decided to get out my little MX bike yesterday and play around in the yard and in the construction zone of the new house. Ever since demolishing my 12' jump I had in the yard that I'd hit with my racing bike, I've missed just being able to ride in the yard without having to go to a track. Well, yesterday was pretty nice and I hadn't started my little bike all winter and decided to get it out and ride.

I started off just riding up and down the road and around the yard and started having a blast! I then looked around and decided I could build some jumps and just see what I could do. I decided to start with this little rock pile, gravel really, that was piled in a mound and just go through it to see what happened. No, of course I wasn't wearing any pads or a helmet... :( Well, I hit the rocks and jumped! "WOW! OK, this could be cool", I think to myself. So I start jumping off of it seeing how high I can get etc. My son is watching (it's technically his bike) going "cool...good jump", etc. So I try going off the top of the pile...and lo and behold, that's when the rocks decide to fall out from underneath...although it didn't change the fact that I did get a pretty good air. I didn't however, get a pretty good landing.

I fly through the air, do the best I can with what I've got, and crash so hard...scraped up my back, messed up my left shoulder (still can't really move it) and threw my head into the ground. Now I know why I should always wear a helmet...hahahahaha.

After a few dazed seconds that feel like a year, I get up and clean off the bike and look around to make sure I'm not dead, and Luke yells out, "Dad, that was awesome. You almost landed a superman on my bike!!! That was awesome I can't believe you tried that!"

That's right, son...that's right. I almost landed a superman...

hahahahahahahahaha - I wish.

it's the new style...

4 and 3 and 2 and 1...when I'm on the type, the suckers run...I got more words than the dictionary, watch out son it's about to get hairy...I got a new look for my b-l-o-g, I hope you like it, if not, well sue me...

well then. now since that is all out of my system, I got a bit tired of the old look (even though my fav color is green), and decided to revamp it. So, I hope you don;t mind looking at it. Let me know what you think.

~~\/~~
__

[no i don't know what that is either...]

parking strategy

So, in our new building we are in 'downtown'. All the parking downtown town is free 2 hour only on the streets (right in front of our building and elsewhere), or you can park in the parking garage, a block or two away, or you can opt for the $30 a month parking space behind our building. Now most people would think it's a no-brainer to do the $30 a month for a space, right? Well, not me. I have decided (and have talked everyone in our office into this same philosophy) to beat the system. I mean really, do you think their are police that go up and down the street where we live looking to write a 2 hour violation parking ticket? No, me neither. Here's the deal...

I find out parking tickets are $10 a fine. So, I say to myself, "I'd have to get a minimum of 3 tickets a month parking on the side of the road in front of my office to pay for a space behind my office. I would have to get 4 tickets/fines a month for a couple of months in a row, to justify buying a space. No I'm not walking 2 blocks unless I have to. It is winter." Well, to me this is just brilliant. So I tell everyone else about this grand scheme of convenience vs. non-convenience and everyone agrees. So we have all been doing this the past month and a half with no fines...

Until yesterday. Yesterday I got a ticket. Marcus got a ticket. A couple of other people here got tickets. So, they racked up yesterday in fines...Only thing is...our new girl didn't get a ticket, and she was in front of me and I even left and came back and parked yesterday while her vehicle was there the whole time. So, I'm thinking of filing a discriminatory suite against the parking people. All of us guys got tickets and the girl didn't. Hmmmm....

Needless to say, everyone is whining and moaning about having to pay $10 (which they don't even have to, I mean our business is paying most of them - well, at least mine and Marcus'...heh). I have to remind them that they could be paying $30 instead, blah blah blah.

Where is the humor in all of this? I'll tell you. But you have to keep it a secret... I told our new girl that if she went out and made parking tickets that looked real and put them on people's cars and use a PO BOX, they would mail them in and she could make a lot of money really fast. Well, she took me up on it and I think she has about $450 or so coming to her. Pretty clever I must say...



[the above is a fictional account of what really happened yesterday...yes i got a ticket, but everything else is made up....heh]

switcharoo

well, since I waxed a little yesterday with the football post, I figured I'd switch and make today my 2fer day. I didn't think any of you would mind. So, here goes:

1 - We have a new employee starting today which we are excited about. Hopefully she will do a great job and add a lot to the company. What's funny is that is has been a while since I've actually had to manage just one person, but I think we have enough to do around here to keep her going. Cross your fingers for us. ;)

2 - Read, read, read. I am not even in school and have to read 2 books this week for things I am doing in the evenings. I enjoy reading for fun...not sure yet if this will be fun or not. I know they will be good for me - one is a Dave Ramsey book on money ;) and the other is the Purpose Driven Life. Maybe by combining and applying the two all stress in my life will suddenly disappear. Not! (ohhhh...nice throwback phrase...)


l8r

To The Ohio State Football fans...

Welcome to the SEC. ;) Last night demonstrated, what is known in the south, as an ass-whoopin. I'm not even a Florida fan, but I was rooting for them, because I knew Ohio State was WAY over-rated. They practically played high school football teams (with the exception of Michigan) all year and had this awesome record to be #1. Well, last night demonstrated why the SEC conference is the toughest in college football. Actually, probably half or more teams from the SEC would've beaten Ohio State. And, it would have saved Ohio State a LOT of embarrassment if there was a playoff system...they would have been eliminated early on and a real football game could've been played instead. Don't get me wrong, even thought I'm not a Florida fan (I'm actually a TN fan) I was so happy to see them win. Everyone told me I was crazy thinking they would win, but hey...I'd put any SEC team up against any other conference team any day to watch the carnage.

It amazes me how much commentators on ESPN, ABC, Fox, etc...never give the SEC any credit. They were actually surprised last night at how well Florida played...I mean do any of these guys ever watch football? If you had seen any games Florida played, you'd know they're fast, strong and can play ball (like all SEC teams). Insane....although it was funny watching Emmit Smith do the chop...I chuckled.

Oh well, maybe next year for the championship, there will be two comparable teams to make the game more interesting...which ultimately means there probably won't be an SEC team (since it's like pitting a NFL team against a HS football team, as we saw last night).

heh....

ahhhhh, starbucks...

well, today there was yet another awe inspiring quote on a coffee cup from starbucks...i love these things...

The Way I See It #186

The world is smaller than you think, and the people on it are more beautiful than you think.
-- Bertram van Munster
Emmy® Award–winning executive producer/director.

nice

yes, i'm weird...

For today, funny friday, i thought i would do something that's funny - so this is what I came up with...enjoy. ;)

it's not even 9 yet

and i've already configured 3 sql databases (not really), scraped ice off of my jeep (not really) and helped a little old lady across the street (not really)...

actually, I am working on 3 sql db's, just let my jeep warm up and defrost, and the lady wasn't too old that I pushed her van up a hill about 100 yards through an intersection in my jeep. Have I said lately how much I love my Jeep? I mean it is 12 years old, but still rules!!

Well, let's see what's in store for the 9a hour...

l8r

my 2fer

OK - so happy new year's!!!! I've been slacking but for good reason. I've been stupid busy...

anyway - here's my 2fer...

1 - The Wii still rules...esp Zelda...hahahahah
2 - my suzuki motocross bike will fit inside of a minivan with all the seats out and a bunch of pushing and tugging....hahahahahahaha (yes - it was cool. yes, it was a rental van. yes, i got hurt mxing in va on sunday - left elbow...still hard to move...hahahaha).

ok - out

Yes, i know this is long, but...

What a crock...IKEA...please...

OK – so, I know I'm not the hippest guy around, nor do I care. I have been many places, done many things, but one thing that had eluded me was a reason to go to and buy things from an IKEA store. Well, Friday was my day. Marcus and I went to the Atlanta store in order to get some things for the new offices. Specifically these cool, clear whiteboards to put in the conf. room around the LCD TV, and a barstool set for my office for people to hang out in. So, with this in mind, we set out also knowing there are other things to get while we're there. Art, other furniture, etc. We walk into the store around noon, thinking it would take a couple of hours to get our stuff and get out. Well, we were SO wrong.

First, I think the word IKEA means 'idiot' (not really, but no one has ever said that the Swedish [who came up with the idea] are very smart, nor are the Dutch [the actual owners] for that matter). Keep in mind the socialist origins of the company and the fact that the countries are socialist and you can start to “appreciate” IKEA.

Here are some things I found out:
1 – We as customers are stupid and know nothing while shopping, however when it comes to taking everything home we are supposed to be smart enough to put everything together without good instructions.

2 – Products at IKEA are cheap because they are cheap. No quality, just cheap stuff – which is OK if you want cheap stuff. I was under the impression you could get pretty nice stuff for a low price. Heh. Wrong. You get what you pay for...I don't know why I always think that statement can be proven wrong.

3 – The inventory system sucks. Period.

4 – Their computer systems are not coordinated which is baffling.

5 – Food. Hmmmm.... At least they offer it since they screw you in going through the store and make you extremely hungry in the whole process of getting you lost etc. Which is actually quite brilliant, but can really tick you off. Heh.

So, apparently you are supposed to follow the arrows on the floor and see everything you want, write it down and go downstairs and pick it up and check out and go home. Heh. Too funny.

Well, we start out going through all the rooms to try and find what we need. We find most everything within the first hour and a half. The we eat. I had an open-faced shrimp sandwich and Marcus had meatballs. Large variety of swedish food...hahahaha – there's really not anything else to get. Heh. We then proceed downstairs and find more stuff, which we put in our cart and after about another hour and a half, we get to where we are picking up our stuff. Well we get there and find out that most of our stuff can't be picked up due to the fact that we didn't have the people upstairs configure the furniture for the conf room. Here's a problem. Walking backwards through the store to get back to the beginning – what a joke. Another hour and a half later we are ready to get in line to pick up our stuff and check out.

If you're keeping up, that's 4.5 hours so far. We then wait another 15-30 minutes in line to check out and another hour of crap during/after checkout that totaled up to 7 hours at IdIOT...I mean IKEA.

Here are some highlights of the day.

While going through the store we stop in the fabric section. Yes fabric. We were looking for blinds for windows, etc. and started looking at fabric to hang on the wall. Well, to be funny we start speaking with lisps and marcus gets a call from his wife (who was at home sick) and he tells her what were doing (no we were not 'shopping') and then while on the phone I wrap some fabric around my waist and ask what he thinks...and he starts dying laughing. The lady at the cutting counter looks at me and says, I can cut that when you're ready. HAHAHAHAHA – So we gave her some fabric to cut. ;) Too funny. I don't think the real gay people there thought we were funny, oh well. Oh, speaking of gay people there...I wish I had a pic. There was a black gangsta gay couple there we saw after checking out. They were sharing an ice cream cone and everything...talk about throwing you for a loop. I even looked to see if they had their 'colors' on them (pink or purple) but I didn't see them. I digress.

We also had to find a fagot bundle (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fagot), an Audrey Hepburn print and a pink chair. All of which we found...but we only purchased the fagot bundle.

Speaking of purchasing...we get in the checkout line and wait, and wait...and wait...finally we approach the counter and proceed to ring up items. During the process, I notice the Daim caramel bars are on sale 3/$1.00. I hand three to the cashier and ask him to go ahead and ring them up b/c I am hungry and wanted to eat them. He appreciated this (he was a bit hefty himself) and started to do so. They didn't ring up on sale. He was apologetic and proceeded to fix the problem. Then his cash register locked up after ramming random pieces of paper in it. Then he has to call the manager to come over and fix the register. Where's the humor in this? Let me tell you. We had been there 6 hours going through this stupid store (which is so like shopping in a 3rd world communist country) he had already taken 15 minutes to try to fix his register, we were buying about $1000 worth of stuff, and this was after the inventory fiasco which I haven't even written about yet. And I'm not going to bore you with it either (just know that what the computers say upstairs and what they say downstairs and what they actually have in inventory are all 3 different. Repeat - are not the same – Neither are the locations...i have printouts to prove this – anyway...back to checkout).

I tell the guy...”Seriously dude, this is not worth 77 cents to me. I have already spent almost 7 freakin' hours in this place and will gladly pay an extra dollar if necessary to be out of here. So please don't worry about the 77 cents.” He looks at me like I'm crazy. As if to say, “you are shopping at Ikea and are not worried about 77 cents?”

When his manager walks up, he tells him what I said and the manager gives me the same awestruck gaze. I almost felt like a rock star. Hahahahaha

After we check out, we go to pick up our special selections that we bought upstairs (yes you pay for things in different places - no i don't know why) just to walk over and return some of them because of their inventory mess-up – that's really a long story. And the more I think about it the more it really ticks me off because it was all about my bar table that now I don't have. I have no idea how a business that big can be so inefficient.

This is a long post and I had pictures on my phone, but didn't get them off yet.

Oh yeah and before I forget....another funny thing happened. Back on the whole gay thing (since we were two guys shopping at Ikea – although not gay...hahahaha) I was talking to one of the swedes about the stuff we were getting and spoke to him in swedish (one of the few phrases I know in swedish – another long story. FYI i speak a lot of languages... hehe). Well, after prefacing to him, I didn't mean this weird, I just wanted to practice it since I haven't spoken Swedish or Norwegian in about 10 years – I said my phrase. He looked at me, smiled and then gave us a discount on what we bought. I then thanked him, and marcus and i went on our way. Marcus was a bit befuddled and I was laughing. He asked what i was laughing at and what I said in Swedish.
I said, “Well, fortunately or unfortunately the only phrase I can remember in swedish is 'I love you'. I guess he liked it and gave us the discount.”


HAHAHAHAHA – true story

has every comapny done this?

OK - is it just me or does it seem like every company has done this??? Even the company reporting the story...crazy.

goodnight, Mr. President...

Yesterday we lost a man who was a unique part of American history. Gerald Ford died. He was 93 years old and was the only man to have been President without being elected. Everything I ever heard about him was that he was a man of integrity and an ethical politician.

Whether you feel he should have pardoned Nixon or not, I think that decision was a good one for the country to have the matter resolved and dealt with and to move on. Even though he wasn't elected President, he will be missed.


In other news...

I went out and bought Call of Duty 3 yesterday for the Wii. OMG! That game is frickin' hard to get used to...but seriously, it is the coolest game. You totally feel like you're in it. I had to take a break from it after about an hour or so playing. It is a bit stressful. With the wii, you actually come up on an enemy in a house, they grab your rifle and you have to fight and shake them off then hit them etc. i'm so used to the keyboard style of play and this is all interactive...and the aiming and shooting, using the trigger...it's almost like a pistol (without the recoil). So cool.

Yes we are addicted to the thing. heh

and this little piggy went wii, wii, wii, all the way home

WOW! Christmas is over and how fun it was. I think this was a great Christmas for the kids! Of course the big things for each of them was a HUGE dollhouse (taller than the lib) and a Nintendo Wii. I'm telling you, that thing is awesome! We've boxed, golfed, played tennis, played baseball, bowled, skateboarded, raced cars, even got some donkey kong and super mario bros. in there as well...this is by far the coolest game system ever! in my humble opinion, the PS3 may have better graphics, but it totally sucks compared to gameplay and price!! ;) Of course I got all of my stuff discounted, so I didn't even pay as much as the regular store price, much less those ridiculous prices on ebay, etc. I'm even thinking about getting a couple more games already too, just to see how they play...hahahahaha.

Well, with that being said, Here's some of our pics from Christmas...

enjoy.

funny & cool

OK, so today beinf funny friday, I've got something good for you. I watched The Ringer the other night with Johnny Knoxville and it was a really good movie. You need to see it. Now, in the movie there is a band at the dance called xTheKidsofWidneyHighx, and they were actually really good. i wanted to make sure they were real, and they are...so I bought some of their stuff off iTunes and have decided to let you in on one of my favorites. LifeWithouttheCow. Now you will notice it's staticky and everything, so if you like it you will have to go buy it - the real one sounds really good. Enjoy.

And for tomorrow...I am going to make the announcement to you today. It's official...a new venture that we are embarking on. We have generated a lot of buzz in just the past few weeks, and certain coMpanies That we'Ve talked to have decided to help us bring something very cool to this very town. I'll give you a little preview...a very little preview. ;) I wish I could talk about it more, but until I can, let me know if you like to play video games. ;)

I will probably not be blogging again until next week, so until then...Merry Christmas!! Actually in Tuesday I just may give you a fullon review on the Wii. If I can get away from playing it...hahahahaha

the office

ok - i promised this yesterday, but i went ahead and switched my blogger stuff over and that literally took all day! So, without further ado, enjoy pics of my new digs...roughly 2000 (a little over that) sqft. ;)

today's 2fer

1 - big presentation in a little bit that could go a LONG way. ;) A very very cool web concept that we are helping on that will eventually find it's way to an iNternatIonal KEwl shoe company. ;) I'm very pumped about it. more on it later...

2 - the office is finally painted, etc. I will post pics of it later (probably tomorrow - today is a bit too busy). wow. have I mentioned lately how much I love my new job?

answers

people keep coming up to me finding out that i am no longer working for my previous company and wondering why. only those closest to me knew that i hated that job and had prayed about finding something else for about a year without actually "advertising" myself being available. I had a few good "hush hush" interviews, several offers for out of town (but I didn't want to move - there arent too many good/cool jobs around here) and ultimately kept coming back to the position I am currently in because of the people involved and the huge amounts of potential and the fact that I can directly impact the growth of this region and this new venture. My old job had gotten to the point of me not really being in charge of anything fully focused on and no one would listen to my ideas for the business as a whole. A little frustrating, but i had gotten used to it.
Well, now, I have a huge amount of input and this new venture is going extremely well. And I couldn't be happier. I don't have to wear a 'uniform', there is no ceiling on what can happen and the thought processes that are involved with the people here is amazing. It is really awesome! And to think that in a couple of years we will most likely be employing about 20-30 people too! With good/cool jobs. Insane.

So, I know today is motivational Monday, so - from one of my favorite quotable people:

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)

tv

Last night "the office" Christmas episode was absolutely hilarious! That is by far one of the funniest shows on tv (#2 only to "the family guy"). In case you didn't know it, dwight has a blog (http://blog.nbc.com/DwightsBlog/) which is amusing at times. So, in honor of Dwight and his Christmas Goose (heh), here are some interesting facts about geese:

Geese Facts

Next fall when you see geese heading south for the winter... flying along in V formation...you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way:

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range, than if each bird flew on its own.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone... and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs...with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. What do we say when we honk from behind?

Finally...and this is important...when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshots, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that.

And Finally a true short story for you:

The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International Studies report on GLOBAL ORGANIZED CRIME.

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.

The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital.

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front (go) to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.
Click.

flat tires and yo mama

so this morning I was taking luke to school and dropped him off and proceeded on my way home to make another school round drop off. Well, i proceeded on my way home for 20 feet. I hear a pffftt...K-lunk, K-lunk, K-lunk. I stop, get out of the Jeep and walk around. I ran over a big tie down strap with the metal hook stuck in my tire. Well, I can't go around with this thing slapping my jeep so I decide to pull it out. After working it, psssssssssss....a big hole in the tire.

"Hmmmmm." I wonder to myself. "How long do I have before this is flat? 5 Minutes, 10 Minutes. Hmmmmm."

I decide to get in the Jeep, call Lisa and tell her I have to go fix-a-flat and try to think of the nearest tire place. I get to the tire place with only a few moments to spare (the tire would not have even lasted 5 minutes - it only took me two to get there. Hey with a jeep I can take shortcuts, right?). So I am in the tire store, all the guys are loving my Jeep. They can't believe I am actually driving it on the road (all of my tires are apparently bald - I've never really looked at that before, but with a Jeep having 113K miles and only the 2nd set of tires...it's about time) but they think it's cool nonetheless.

Well, I get pricing on new tires (which I've been looking at anyway, in a dreaming sort of way...now with more focus and attention...hahahah) and me and the guy are talking and joking around (seems he has a jeep too, with big 36" tires, etc. - except his is done right, he spent about $7K on lifting his, not just buying tires and risers) about people who just buy big tires and wonder why they can;t off-road that well. And he confirmed for me that stock jeep tires and set-up is better than 90% of people out there who think big tires can "do it all".

Anyway, we were joking around and I start laughing out loud and from the back, out of nowhere a guy comes out and asks? "Um, is one of you (he said my name)? I know that laugh." I turned around, slightly shocked and said, "It's me."
"Oh my gosh! I knew I heard your laugh, how in the H311, are you?"
Turns out a buddy of mine from back in the day of skateboarding/snowboarding and real yo mama jokes (who rode a lot with us) works there. So, we caught up a lot - 'Wormy' (another guy) got married and apparently bred, which sounds scary...hahahahahaha, friends that are in jail, places that they live, etc. It was fun. But it seriously cracked me up that he heard my laugh and came out and thought of me and I haven't seen him in at least 10-12 years. Too Funny!

Oh well, there's my morning.

the much anticipated 2fer

i know i've been slack the past few days, but I really have been pretty busy. And today I'm going to share with you some of the things I've been learning and the impact those things will - not could, but will - have on your life. ;)

1 - Generation C(ash) - This is what's happening! Think of revver.com, ebay, fon, metacafe, Vitamin T, etc. If you know about these sites, that is essentially the makings/beginnings of the C(ash). You can read all about it here if you want to learn more. Thanks to www.trendwatching.com.

2 - NTI.org - this is a little group that is very interesting. Yes, I get their mail. Yes, I've gotten their stuff. Yes, I like it. Yes, I'm in. hahahahaha It is very interesting and you should look it up. It's basically a group (think big and powerful group) that has been put together to combat the growing threat of nuclear terrorism and war. Reminds me of back in the day, Red Dawn and all that. Except now, there are other enemies.

OK - there's my 2fer for global happenings...

Now here's my 2fer for personal happenings....hahahahaha ---- the bonus round...

1 - last night we had a board of directors dinner party for a board I'm on and we couldn't find a babysitter, so the kidoodles came along. Luke is the funniest kid I've seen in a while...he decides to start pantomiming all the Christmas music by just mouthing the word "watermelon". Not only that, but he is swaying and making facial expressions all the while. I'm telling ya now...I think we have a replacement for Frank Sinatra...except we just need to get him to actually sing. hahahahahahaha

2 - Our new office is looking pretty sweet. It should all be finished painting tomorrow. It's going to look nice, a really really nice. And...to add to that - we may be having an addition to our office sooner than initially expected. We have an opportunity to work with some people from a MusicTeleVision station and a MIghtyCoolReallyOsomeSOFTware and gaming company to get into game development for a certain OS that is slowly coming out and a neat gaming system by the same company. ;) hehehehe This is really exciting. I will let you know more about it when I officially can. ;) We are having another meeting today about it...wohoo.

oh well...that's about it...hope that makes up for the past few days of slacking... ;)

out

job applications

First, starting a new company that lots of people want to be involved in is an awesome experience. However, when we get resume's etc. and applications that go with them, the people don't always have the right qualifications for the job. See the example below - the name has been changed to protect the innocent...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising.

Needless to say, we hired this person. ;)

jk - I thought it would be funny to say that...

News to get you going...

Everyone knows I love news...i love to read and i always read things that interest me and/or things that i have an area of expertise in. Well, here a a few news items that have popped up recently, that didn't make a big splash everywhere, but nonetheless, I thought you should be aware of them.

1 - We are not as smart as we think we are. ;) Check this article out about a device that was found in 1901 that is estimated to be VERY old. Turns out, they think it was some type of calculator. Interesting.

2 - Think space exploration is dead? Well, I'm sure you heard about the "water" being found on Mars yesterday so I won't get into that (however that is interesting too), but NASA is planning on going back to the moon and colonizing in about 10-15 years. Hmmmm....I wonder if I could get in on early real estate development there???

3 - Last, but certainly not least, my absolutely favorite article. I knew this could be done, but didn't realize 2 things - a) it would be made public and confirmed and b) that it's use would actually be viable in a court case. Seems the FBI are using cell phones to tape conversations. Let me rephrase that...they are using your cell phones to tape conversations. ;) This is why I would never have a Nextel phone (which I knew all about) - however (being out of certain circles for a little while) I didn't realize the RAZR phones did this too. There may be a new XplodAphone video coming soon for my phone (a RAZR.) hahahahaha ;)

oh well...maybe these articles will put you into therapy for today instead of helping your therapy out.

From a Magazine Ad for a Translation Company in France

"In order to guarantee the homogeneity and quality of the translated text, we consider that terminologyis the major deal, the obliged passage. We are relying on our basic terminological data of the concerned area and taking into account the specific terminology of the company involved after she has validated it.

Besides, the computer toolls we use allow us to enrich continuously customer's terminology all along the cooperation process between him and us.

Passing the source text through the lemmatiser allows the lexical analysis which creates the list of missing terms. The appropriate vocabulary being available in the system, it makes out a gross translation, technically correct."

HAHAHAHAHAHAH too funny...

the twofer

1 - My new job ROCKS! I had no idea how fun work could be! I also had no idea how much of a need there is for what we are doing. I mean seriously...I am having lunch today with a friend of mine "DK" who is a producer at a certain Music TeleVision network (hehe) about it. He is stoked about what we are doing and who knows how far this could go...simply awesome!

2 - I got to see a preview of the new cover that the fam is on and it looks really good. Lisa and kids approve as well. It should be out January. When it comes out, I'll get one and post it here. Who knows, you may even get one in the mail...hahahahaha - too cool.

l8r

beginnings and endings...

First - this is a great book. you should read it. It only takes an hour or so to finish.
Second - this is the quote for today.

But all endings are also beginnings. We just don't know it at the time.

Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, pg. 1 line 3-4

oh my...now everyone knows...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,233997,00.html

the 3 racehorses

Three racehorses were standing in a stable bragging to each other one day. The first horse boasts "I've been in 59 races and I've won 35 of them." "That's nothing," says the second horse. "I've raced 97 times, and I've won 78 of them!" The third horse joins in: "Well, I've raced 122 times and I've won 102!" Just then, the horses hear a voice say, "I've got you all beat!" The horses look down and sees a greyhound. "I've raced over 200 times, and I have NEVER lost!" The horses look at the dog in amazement. One of them says "How about that! A talking dog!"