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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Ear Wax and Herpes (not the genital kind) - Catchy title, huh?

OK – so yesterday I had an eye doctor appointment to check on my eyes and to see about how new contacts would work. In case you didn’t know - I haven’t been able to wear any since june because my left eye was messed up a little bit. It had something to do with wearing contacts that were too old for too long without taking them out of my eye. Go figure. ;) hahahahaha

Anyway, I go to there and it was a blast as usual. My eye doctor is hilarious and her staff is just as funny – through me into the mix…needless to say they are always excited when I come in. hahahaha So, I’m in there and the first girl I see tells me to take off my glasses, then put them on, then take them off…over and over for all these tests. Then cover left/right eye, etc. After a few minutes of this I ask her…wouldn’t it be simpler if you did all the glasses off tests at the same time…all the right eye tests and the same time, left eye same time, etc.? She said ”yeah, and I do it that way most of the time, but I just like making you work and watch you take your glasses off and on – it’s funny.” It really was funny – although I had to be there 2 hours so I figured I needed to make the best use of my time. I had to have my eyes dialated etc., so it was best to have fun.

Now when Dr. Jones came in she started with the whole glasses thing and just started laughing (she knew what the other girl had done). Anyway, she’s examining my eyes and looking around (blinding me – which I complain greatly of) and notices a fever blister on my lip. She asks “Is that a fever blister?”
“Yes”, I replied.
“Well, I get those too and there’s this over the counter medicing that works great on them. It’s called abrevia (or something like that).”
“Oh yeah, I tried that once. Didn’t work too well. I am using Lovitra which is awesome – 2-3 days – done. It’s OTC too.”
“hmmmm.” She said. “Well, you know what my mom always told me.
“No what?”
“She said that you can use ear wax and place it on your fever blister and it will go away.”
Now I start thinking to myself…”OK, maybe the people here aren’t just messing with me…maybe they are actually psyco. I need to find an exit quick…Was that real eyes drops they put in my eye…or something more sinister, like a homegrown concoction?” And just as my train of hought starts heading down the track, I hear…
“Of course, I’ve never tried it…I don’t think it would work.”
Whew…ok I feel a little better now – at least the doctor hasn’t tried it…ok not so bad.
Then suddenly…
“Oh my gosh,” she seemed very startled. “It’s 4 o’clock (I got there at 3) and my son had a dentist appointment at 3:30 – I completely forgot.”
Yep – mind starts racing again…has she forgot to do anything with my eyes?
She picks up the phone in the room. And over the intercom I hear “Ummm, Julie or Jessica, can either one of you take Johnny to the dentist? Or see if Randy (her husband who works there too) can take him – I clean forgot his appointment was at 3:30.”
I laugh out loud (as I am prone to do) and look at her as she hangs up the phone. She hangs up and says, “Yeah, laugh it up. I had to get their attention because I don’t know where anyone is and he’s already late…if he’s too late they won’t see him and still charge me.”
“Oh”, I reply sarcastically, “is that what there policy book states.”
“Nooooo, I have had to pay for three visits that he didn’t get to.”
“WHAT?!?! You mean it’s taken 3 times for you to learn not to forget the appointments? Wow. One, I wouldv’e chalked up as a learning experience. Two, yeah OK, maybe things come up and you have to miss. But three? And now maybe four? You need to get a PDA or something. Hahahahaha”

This was a very funny conversation. Needless to say I love my eye doctor and staff – they really are great, if not certifiably insane. But I fit in. HAHAHAHAHA

So – as for WaxOnWaxOff – the whole ear wax thing is still with me, so I decided to look it up. If any of you suffer from cold sores, fever blisters, herpes – whatever…check this out. Not only does ear wax appear to work, but so do a lot of other things. And artificial sweetener causes outbreaks…very wild stuff. I think that’s why I got mine. I drank a few Diet Cokes a week or so ago and got a fever blister. I hadn’t drank any cokes for about 6-7 months and never had one during that time…hmmm.interesting. From now on it’s “sugar in the raw”.

2 comments:

sekondstory said...

Yeh, uh...thanks...I have been looking for something practical to do with my ear wax! Too bad I don't get cold sores!!

And, how about a little warning if you do decided to rub you wax on your lips ;)

Daria said...

Hey... My Godsister told me about the earwax too... I guess it really does work! I have a fever blister right now... wish I had earwax...