i just think these are funny...

some of my favorite funny quotes. Just thought I'd share.


I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
-- Demetri Martin

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
-- WC Fields

Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-- Winston Churchill (replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

My experience has taught me that a man who has no vices has damned few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything!
-- Steve Martin

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
-- Yogi Berra

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
-- Henry Youngman

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
-- George W. Bush

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them, 'How do you think I got the job?
-- Dick Cheney

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-- Douglas Adams

I can resist everything except temptation.
-- Oscar Wilde

goodbye MX days...

ok - so the picture is a little blurry, but I had to post it for good times sake. This bike has been through a lot and was (really still is) super fast and could jump super high...but alas, I sold it last night. At least my cousin bought it so if I ever want it back I can probably get it easily...hahahaha. I doubt I will though. Anyway, time to shop for a new one....hahahahaha - jk.

i was right...

well, i hate to say i told you so, but...

when i wrote about the iPhone dropping in price $200 for waiting another month...I had no idea it would actually come true.

Hmmmmm...so now I'm going to let you in on the fact that if you send me $5 you will indeed become a millionaire. Yes, that's right. Send me $5 and you will amass a fortune of Biblical proportions...

heh

Nod Your Head...

I think I'll shake mine side to side instead. Just when I thought there are enough musicians out there who suck, it's finally time to add Paul McCartney to the list. One who I once thought to be untouchable...now officially sucks. I wondered when I heard his new cd, which pretty much sucked except for the last song...but now I know he's gone...juice all used up. This stupid 'Nod Your Head' song sucks...and the video is worse. I mean, I could've easily written this song...and made the video at home. In fact I did make one like it about 10 years ago. Homemade. Looks he might have stolen some of it and used it...anyway... /barf/

/barf/
/barf/

/delete "Nod Your Head"
/delete "Nod Your Head video"

mmmmm....I feel much better now.