"I can't drive 55..."

yes, i know you can hear Sammy Hagar's voice in your head - screaming out the song...Well, I can relate to it...however, this is not going to be ablut me. It's Weds, so it's time to go off.

It all begins yesterday evening...
Last night, Lisa & I were on our way to a fundraiser at the racetrack and are heading toward the interstate when, from out of nowhere, this ford crown vic careens out from the side of the road across 2 lanes of traffic like a bat out of hell right in front of us. Lisa goes "Is that a cop?" I say "No, it's not."
"Well, are you sure? It looks like an unmarked cop car."
"No, it's not. I did that for about 6 years...definately not a cop, nor a cop car."
During this conversation, the car proceeds to slow down...to like 30mph, on a 45mph road. There is nowhere he would be turning off. So, knowing it's not a police car, I get on his bumper. ;) To help push him along...

Understand, we don't want to be late to this thing we are going to. We're dressed up, it's a political fundraiser for a friend of mine, we paid to go and I wanted to be there.

The guy looks up in his rearview mirror at me and sees me really close. "Aha", I say, "He sees me and will speed up." - Nope. He SLOWS DOWN EVEN MORE. Now we are at 20mph. I get a good look at him. It is an old man. Obviously senile and too old to drive. But he was playing the game. If he was in a Buick, I would have overlooked the whole incident (you know my love for Buicks), but he wasn't even smart enough to get a Buick. He was driving a Ford...anyway, after what seems to be forever (literally, 10 minutes on what should be a 2 minute drive), we pull up to the interstate, to a 2 lane on ramp. I get beside him, look at him and rev my engine...he does the same. The light turns green and I floor it. HE DOES TOO! I tell Lisa, look at this old guy.

So, I've had lots of Aggressive and Defensive driving courses, etc. because of my previous life in law, so I take full advantage...I cut him off. Properly, mind you. I win. He understands he met his match and backs off. Or more likely, his sobriety was kicking in. So we get to our fundraiser on time and all is well.

Or so we think...

After the fundraiser, we are one our way home, stop and get some gas and get back on the road. What happens? Yes, I get behind another "boat", a Caprice, with an old guy driving (not on the interstate). At least it's not the same guy. I don't think the minivan could handle drag racing twice in one night...I gotta get a vette. Anyway, this guys turns on his blinker and I say "Whew, at least he's driving properly and getting off the road." We are approaching a right turn lane and I figure he's going to get in it. He doesn't. I tell Lisa, "What is wrong with all these people driving? I mean, I feel like I'm in Florida or something." Tuna joke...Maybe I'll explain that later...This guy drives all the way beside the right lane and turns sharply right, off the road. "Did he not see the turn lane? What an idiot!" Keep in mind, I'm not mad...just concerned these people will kill someone attempting to drive.

These guys have given me a mission. When my friend is elected, I am going to ask him to sponsor a bill that requires mandatory driver's testing after the age of 65. A national law. I know some states do similar things already...but ours is not one of them. It is a national concern anyway.

OK - I'm done. Yes, I do feel a little better. I could have even posted this for tomorrow too. Oh well.